Oniisama e drabbles
by Rosa Chinensis
Summary: Drabbles based on the anime and manga Oniisama e, written for the yuridrabbles community on livejournal. Warning: Several of these drabbles contain spoilers.
1. As it Rains in the City

Disclaimer: _Oniisama e_ and all characters therein belong to Ikeda Riyoko. I'm just borrowing them for nefarious (but nonprofit!) purposes.  
The title of this drabble comes from a poem by Verlaine, one which is quoted in _Oniisama e_. Original French: _Il pleure dans mon coeur/ Comme il pleut sur la ville_.  
**Warnings**: fairly heavy spoilers for late in the series.

**As it Rains in the City, So, Too, Do the Tears Fall in My Heart **

Nanako is crying.

She doesn't feel the rain that's falling all around her, soaking her, nor does she feel the chill.

What she does feel is embarrassed, upset, shattered, alone. They were all right. Miya-sama has been lying to her all along.

That must mean that her words today were all lies, too. "I'm in love with you. You were so cute, on the day of the Entrance Ceremony, I just didn't know what to do..." All lies.

The commanding touches, the aggressive seduction, the gentle finger smoothing the lipstick over her lips, the soft lips moving against her earlobe; None of them were real.

For a few short moments, Nanako truly believed that this incredible woman loved her. It was not a happy feeling, really, more a sense of awe intermingled with confusion and a touch of fear.

But that doesn't matter, because she knows the truth now. It was never about her. She was only ever special in Miya-sama's eyes because of her Onii-sama.

And Saint-Just-sama... Miya-sama will always come first in her heart. Nanako knows that. But it still hurt, today, to be treated like a mere thing by her, as though the touch of Miya-sama's lips on her had been more important to Saint-Just-sama than the sum total of her existence. She was a mere vessel to her, like the straw in a glass of soda. She'd thought she meant more to her than that, but now she isn't sure. Will there ever be a place for her in Saint-Just-sama's heart?

Nanako had her first kiss today; Her first two kisses, really. And she is crying.


	2. Failure

Disclaimer: _Oniisama e_ and all characters therein belong to Ikeda Riyoko. I'm just borrowing them for nefarious (but nonprofit!) purposes.  
**Warnings**: This drabble contains spoilers for partway through the series, as well as references to attempted suicide.

**Failure**

The blood is flowing from Rei's wrist, staining the snow beneath it an obscene red.

In her last moments, she believed she was dying because of their love for each other. It was Fukiko's last kindness to her— to grant her the joy of believing her love was reciprocated, that they were in this together.

Fukiko looks at the body lying motionless in the snow. Suddenly it's all too much, and she's terrified. She drops the knife, blood spattering across the snow where it falls, and bandages Rei's wrist before she can bleed out.

She will come to regret it. 


	3. Hero

Disclaimer: _Oniisama e_ and all characters therein belong to Ikeda Riyoko. I'm just borrowing them for nefarious (but nonprofit!) purposes.  
**Warnings**: mild spoilers for very early on in the series.

**Hero**

For some children, their parents are their heroes.

To me, the very idea is laughable. Who is worse, I wonder, my pornography-writing father with his many girlfriends who are all barely older than me, or my spineless mother, who takes everything without complaint?

No, _my_ hero is someone much more worthy. My hero shines brightly, like the sun; Like the brave rays that penetrate the darkness of this oubliette I find myself trapped in. When night comes, the darkness presses in all around, and I am lost. The water rises, and I sink beneath, hoping, hoping for the strength to end this.

My courage fails me, and the next day when the sun dawns again, I wonder how I could have considered leaving this, considered giving her up. The thought of an existence without her is so terrifying I cannot even bear to imagine it.

She is the only one who cares about me at all, the only one who pays me any sort of positive attention. My mother tries, but she just doesn't care enough, or maybe just doesn't know how to take care of me. She's always been a poor excuse for a mother.

There was Nanako, before, but-- no, I will not think about that. It is too painful. How I finally had what I desired most-- a friend, a true friend who didn't care about my family or my outcast status in the class or anything else, a pure girl who loved purely-- and drove her away through my own folly. At that time, I wanted her so badly I even scared myself. And I scared her away... What a colossal failure I am. If only I were more like Kaoru no kimi.

All the other girls worship her because of her talent in basketball, or her masculine appearance, or her commanding aura. They are fools, the lot of them. A group of potato-heads. That was what made her catch my eye at first, true, but my feelings for her have grown and changed since then, though I still get a bit carried away when I see her on the court. What I feel for her is not what they feel for her. They worship her mindlessly, in love with the idea of her rather than the real person. They love her with a childlike fascination that completely ignores the nuances of her personality.

I am different. I love the Kaoru no kimi who tries to protect me from Misaki, the little bitch. I love the Kaoru no kimi who notices I haven't been eating and confronts me about it. The Kaoru no kimi who holds me as I cry.

My hero is more than just a star, an icon. She is someone who cares about others-- and that, more than anything, means the world to me. I'd marry her if I could. It would certainly be a step up from my mother's choice.

My father will never, _ever_ be my hero. The bastard. He can rot. 


End file.
